Wednesday, June 29, 2011

picture perfect.

let me just paint the scene of where this blog is being written:
i'm in skinny jeans & a blue vintage crop tshirt i got somewhere far far away. the buzz cut i sported last year, just to see if i could do it, has become about three inches longer by now. i run my hands through it as i sit on the floor to begin this.

the sweltering georgia heat hasn't touched me today, finding solace in the most wonderful air conditioning vent on my toes, but my face bears evidence of the last 9 days, when the sun brought out the freckles, just across my nose and cheeks, reminding me of when we played in the woods, all capturing on our camera, pieces of ourselves we wanted to remember...

i'm exhausted - the kind that takes weeks to catch up on. i've dubbed this 'travel tired', because i'm 99.87345% sure it's a different kind & at this particular moment i know i'm feeling it with extra exhaustion, as i'm just about to hop into the car w/ karrah and raleigh and drive 20-24 hrs. back 'home'.

i'm sitting in a pile of my own bags that are sitting in a pile of other peoples' bags. my feet barely peek out from the heaps of things and props and costumes and cameras and computers that line the entire floor of alex's room.

the melancholy slips into the morning when i accept that all of these things i am sitting upon are slowly disappearing, as people begin to leave, because our trip (this trip) has finally coming to an end. everyone grabs a quick bite to eat from whatever is left in the kitchen and we slowly begin to trickle out. hugs, smiles, phone number exchanges, and poof... we are gone, scattering to the wind, with our dreams and gleaming eyes. maybe we will see each other again, maybe not.

the last years (maybe 3?) i've become accustomed to more than my fair share of airport goodbyes, kitchen goodbyes, driveway goodbyes, waving, hugs, etc...

whenever they are about to happen i just tell myself 'ash, hug them, turn around and thank your lucky stars you got to have another experience. learn from this, apply it to your life, and smile smile smile smile smile, because you are luckier than you know'. | i always try to balance this bittersweet reality with how amazing the interim was/is/will be. the "hello' moments and everything that leads up to the moment i drive away. that's the pulp of my entire life - all of those moments...

these days, i so often find myself in foreign places, beds, kitchens, forests, somewhere so far outside of a normal reality, in the wild side of living - both outside and from within. these places speak to me, and all feel more like 'home' than home really feels these days.
they say the secret to life is to just 'keep letting go', and to be honest - i'm 100% in agreement, and for the most part, this is how i live my life, but the challenge always arises in putting that into action when hearts become involved. i love these places i visit, these people i meet, these beds that are warm, these kitchens with so much life & laughter in them, where we sit until the late hours when we all just fall asleep sideways on a bed or couch or floor, halfway covered in sweatshirts and needing showers.

this trip was no different and i leave giving thanks for what i've seen, the moments my muscles will always remember, and finally: for the moments i captured on camera. those are what i'm excited to share (in the coming days) before the next big thing and those images, sitting on cards, are what i have as evidence it all really happened.

most thankful for everything, i'm signing off and hopping into the car... thank you, georgia. you've been a peach.

and that is what (that is all) i know for sure.

a tiny visual narrative until i get home from about .00000001 percent of my time here:

the tickets for karrah's ticket dress:

molly in karrah's ticket dress at the fox theatre shoot:

my beautiful soultwin from alabama/texas, sam, editing one night:

raleigh, one of the funniest people i know:

my feet (in legwarmers ;) on everyone's piles of things, as i write this blog...


at an abandoned house that raleigh, myself, alex and karrah played all day at (so many images from 'dustbowl' to come from this location. i am standing in the window, as raleigh reflects light onto me, as karrah photographs from outside the window:

karrah photographing me (in a nightgown she was still wearing from earlier in the day when i photographed HER for 'dustbowl') from the ladder outside (another vantage of the previous shot)

one of the many foster dogs we stayed with when at Alex's house:

karrah, alex, raleigh, making a candy dress for an upcoming shoot:

everyone making candy dress:

myself & my new heartbeat, rosie (a rescue this family is fostering) one night just before bed:

ash x


Olivia Clemens said...

Ash, this is such a touching and eloquent blog post. I know exactly what you mean! I feel so lucky to have all the wonderful experiences I am having right now and to be meeting such wonderful people, and yet you can't help but have that little twinge of wanting it to last on and on! The goodbyes and ends are always difficult, and yet they fill you with such a feeling of having come away changed for the better. Anyway, on to more and more fantastic experiences! Cannot wait for our roadtrip!!

Samantha Nandez said...

You're so good at putting things in to words. Much better than I (as you know, haha), and I greatly appreciate that you are able to express that. It was wonderful to see you again, and so soon which was a great surprise! I hope that your next trip brings you more happiness <3

Teresa said...

I enjoyed reading this entry very much, and your photos are the perfect compliment.

New follower, T

Anonymous said...

I just found your blog after my mom emailed me a link to your website - she saw a photo of yours on display in the Denver airport and it must have really stuck with her - she's always emailing me tidbits of interesting things. Let me say that this is one of her best finds to-date! What you do is so romantic, emotional; your story-telling is beautiful. It looks like you have such an amazing skill for storytelling through imagery, and I am completely captivated.

Beautiful, beautiful stuff - I'm admiring your work so much already.

david said...

You write beautifully and your web site is exquisit. Love the feminine energy of your photography. Well done.
Regards, David

.E. said...

you make me want to be be better.. as an artist...